Entirely Relevant To Where My Mind Is Today

Here’s something I found in my archives. I must have been under the sway of the NY State Lottery  theme song of the time but what I wrote then still applies. I wouldn’t change a thing.

I HAD A MILLION DOLLARS

If I had a million dollars
If I had a million dollars,
I’d fix this place up
I’d fix this place up.
If I had a million doll-oll-oll-oll-ars -
Then I’d sell it and move someplace better.

If I had a million dollars
If I had a million dollars,
I’d get another dog
I’d get another dog.
If I had a million doll-oll-oll-oll-ars -
I’d hire someone to clean up the dog poop.

If I had a million dollars
If I had a million dollars,
I’d wave it around
I’d wave it around.
If I had a million doll-oll-oll-oll-ars -
I’d only give it away to people who didn’t ask me for some.

If I had a million dollars
If I had a million dollars,
I’d spend foolishly and act like a drunken lord and never keep an accounting and probably use it to get people to like me to a better place and maybe get a cadoo a white one and hire someone to cook scallops and mussels and vegetarian dinners and start using the dry cleaners more and sweep through the bookstore and make special orders to impress the clerks with my superior selections and I’d host the most fabulous cocktail parties with white gloved waiters and then herd everyone into the parlor to hear me sing ‘For Unto Us A Child Is Born’ all the way through and everyone would applaud to stay on my good side and be invited back for more lobster bits on toothpicks.
If I had a million doll-oll-oll-oll-ars -
I’d never be rich.

originally published November 2002 from the archives of bobthecorgi.com

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3 thoughts on “Entirely Relevant To Where My Mind Is Today

  1. “If I had a million dollars I’d keep right on ranching until it was gone.” My father’s quote that never fails to make me laugh. Mostly, because I’m not a rancher anymore.

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