If I was running the Congressional hearings into Benghazigate, the first witness I’d call is Weird Al.
Yeeeaaahhh, it’s a party in the CIA!
Sometimes it’s a burden to know too much. Not only are these the lyrics that run through my head whenever I hear Party In The USA, but there’s no way I can shake Harvey and Sheila whenever the band strikes up Hava Nagila.
Our scene opens in the congressional hearing room where a tired Gen. Petraeus is seated facing the congressional committee. After several hours of questioning by Congresswoman Suzette, he mops his brow with a rumpled hanky, sighs with exhaustion and appears greatly stressed.
Gen. Petraeus: Please Rep. Suzette, (wringing hands) no more Weird Al…
Rep. Suzette: Oh, my gracious, no! I turn now to this Alan Sherman version of Hava Nagila—
Gen. Petraeus: No! Stop! I confess I perjured myself on 9/14/12. It wasn’t a video that was responsible—not even these by Weird Al! Obama told me to lie! He wanted them dead because we were running an illegal black ops site and couldn’t risk having any witnesses!
Rep. Suzette: Thank you General. Mr. Speaker, I yield the balance of my time.
Speaker Boehner: (sounds gavel loudly) That’s a wrap, people!
I’m starting to resume the fetal position. Petraeus was brought down getting frisky with a woman with the forehead of a Klingon while his troops died and Obama went beddie bye. Not even Weird Al can parody this.