The president is returning to the capital Monday to, quote, “monitor the preparations for an early response”

What a relief! The president is monitoring the hurricane. All those tree removal trucks and out of state power company trucks that I saw on the interstates this weekend could have stayed home with their feet up if they knew this! Rest easy, New Jersey, as Hurricane Sandy makes landfall right over your poor dumb head. The president is vigilantly monitoring the storm on your behalf. If you are a business owned by a Democrat. The rest of you are out of luck.

When a big storm is coming, it’s not a good thing to dwell on the news. Last week I was in Denver for 2 potentially significant snowfalls. The second was due to hit on the morning I was to fly home. The prediction early in the week was for 4-8 inches and my flight was very early so I got room service dinner and watched the local news to see if my plans were going to be impacted. They teased out the snowfall amount for the entire hour and kept saying “find put how  much snow we’re getting in just a moment”. They gave every other statistic, interviewed the entire male population of Colorado standing in front of plows, recalled previous snow storms but never said how much snow was coming. (p.s. it was “no snow”. That’s how much snow was on the ground the next morning.)

men at work monitoring the leaves in the street

Sami is outside decked head to toe in yellow rubber. The man loves a task-appropriate costume. He’s got Dickie coveralls dedicated to car fixing,  a twill pair dedicated to yard work, a short green rubber jacket for quick runs out in the rain and this stunning two-piece in canary yellow for hurricane prep.

The street is already full of fallen leaves and it won’t be long until the gusting winds knock the rest down. Then they’ll all float downhill towards the storm drain which will be blocked, clogged and useless for any actual drainage and then we’ll have water coming at us from an entirely new direction. We’re sharing a generator with the family next door on an alternating 30 minute schedule so I think we can keep the sump pump going to it’s maximum ability but who knows how long it can keep up with an already pressurized underground dam and an historic hurricane water dump?

We have plenty of hurricane-smart food and water and wine, a bathub full of flushing water and a closet full of  baby wipes. Sami’s got lanterns and radios standing by with fresh batteries and I have two unread LBJ books three if I find my birthday book and an itty bitty book light.

WWJVF?

Who would Jesus vote for? A Sunday service-skipping World Famous Fashion Icon and  Too Busy To Be A Mom™ campaigner?

“Obama, Malia, Sasha, Chicago godmother Kaye Wilson attend church Sunday”  Barack Obama, Malaria and Sausage attended church Sunday morning along with Kaye Wilson, who the girls have known forever since she is their “godmother” from Chicago. Michelle Obama, who is flying to Chicago Sunday to get ahead of Hurricane Sandy–so she can make her Iowa Monday stop–was not with them because she was getting ready to leave early for her trip, the White House said.] 

Questions:

  • Both girls have the same “godmother”?
  • Or even have a “godmother” at all?
  • Why has this “godmother” not been taking them to church for the last 4 years?
  • Is this a recently minted “godmother” for campaign purposes?]

72-Inch Me and Pinch Me went for a walk …

(Enjoy your borderline-appropriate grip sessions while ye may, Show Ponies. After November 6th, your services will no longer be needed.)

Or a modest doer of good works?

“Leadership: Romney campaign using Romney bus for East Coast storm relief efforts” Team Romney announced that the campaign bus will be used to help with storm relief efforts on the East Coast, as Hurricane Sandy bears down. Romney campaign will load storm relief supplies into Romney bus in Arlington Va today an will collect supplies at all VA victory offices.

Leading from the front. Now that’s a change.

DC insiders say that Joey “The Hyena” Biden relies on a crew of moles, spies and eavesdroppers to try and keep one step ahead of the opposing campaign. When his intelligence you should excuse the expression informed him that someone was offering  “free Weiner rides”, he assumed that Paul Ryan would be commandeering the Oscar Meyer Weinermobile to assist hurricane victims. The silver-plugged VP proposed opening up his private car on Amtrak to all displaced biker chicks he met on the campaign trail this year. Fortunately, White House staffers were able to head off this copy-cat publicity stunt when it was discovered that the true source of the offer was Huma’s husband, in town for the weekend and armed with a new iPhone 5.

Weird

Here’s 3 weird things, or 2 weird things if you bundle like events together:

Weird Thing 1. In downtown Denver, there are free shuttle buses that runs every two minutes the full length of 16th street and stops briefly at every corner.  The drivers watch in the mirror to see if people are still stepping off before they shut the doors and continue on. So one assumes they see a lot of feet during the course of the day. I was getting off the shuttle at the end of the line and as I walked past the front of the bus, the driver stuck her head out of the window and complimented my shoes and asked me where I got them. That never happened to me before.

Weird Thing 2. Or possibly Weird Thing 1a. In Denver airport, as I was working my way through the security check  (pat down. ugh. it’s a free show. everyone watches.) a middle-aged, middle-of-the-road kind of male TSA agent picked up my shoes from the bin and said “Nice shoes!” One assumes they see a lot of shoes during the course of the day.

Would you like to see these remarkable shoes? Here they are:

Ryka Leather and Mesh Slip-on Skimmers from QVC now on clearance for $23.50

 Big deal, right? I bought three pair. I was wearing the black ones on the shuttle and the blue ones in the airport. I can’t wait to see what happens when I wear the beige ones.

Weird Thing 3. I had a window seat on the plane for the trip home. About an hour out from landing, I noticed a collection of water droplets streaking across the outside of my window. I was trying to assess what the chance of me being sucked out through the little porthole if the window fell out when I drifted off to sleep for a few minutes. When I opened my eyes, the clouds all around were pink. I thought maybe I was already on the other side of the porthole and was pleased to discover that my death was painless. The pink only lasted a few minutes then it was back to regular earthly-type clouds …

BUT! …

I suddenly had the answer to a work problem that I had been struggling with for a few days. So who’s to say? Maybe I was dead and the angles told me which cohorts were missing from my census base. And then they returned me to United Flight 229. And gave me a nosebleed.

This was a weird trip.