Flying Monkey

I’m flying to Atlanta today. Do you think I’ll get tornado’d?

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UPDATE:  No tornado action. Smooth flight. Arrived uneventfully and on time.

I am in the crappiest hotel on the planet. And that includes the 4 Arrowheads or whatever that disaster in Oklahoma was when I stayed there 8 years ago. It’s really more of a motel. A crappy motel. Plus, I don’t have a rental car for this trip so I’m limited in how I can soothe myself with dinner offerings. I’m stuck with a french “bistro” just off the crappy lobby. If they don’t have wine, I swear to God I am going to flip my shit. My hip hurts, I haven’t eaten all day and did I mention that I’m in one of those Stop N’ Rob kind of rooms where the my door is next to an easily accessible picture window on the ground floor and my bed is three feet from the dimly lit public walkway? If I get a bed bug here I am going to pull my hair out.

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UPDATE #2:  Quel surprise! I don’t know how they landed here in this crappy motel.  But wow! White tablecloth, small candles, fresh flowers on the table. For my first course, I had rillettes de porc à la moutarde.

house made pork rillettes with dijon mustard, red onions, cornichons, baguette toasts

I know! How did I ever live without this? It was like big super-fatty cold pork meatloaf slices! Accompanied by crisp salty things. I’m pretty sure I can replicate this with Oscar Mayer baloney in a blender*. Let’s have a dinner party!

Then I had truite grenobloise  (fresh local rainbow trout, couscous pilaf, asparagus,
toasted walnuts, capers, brown butter).  Can you even believe it? I also swilled down two glasses of French Voigne. It makes the whole crappy motel room thing seem insignificant.

*My mother used to tell me that she and her two girl friends used to have WWII-era teenage parties where they would invite the same three boys and play the radio and serve minced baloney mixed with mayonnaise and chopped pickles. The three girls** married the three boys*** and they stayed married until they all died. The power of minced baloney! Even the French know it.

**Geraldine, Irene and Aldona

***Babe, Youngy and Shanky