I Didn’t Even See Outside Today

I uesd to take naps but now naps take me.

Seriously, one minute I’m minding my b-i-bidness and then the next, I open my eyes and an hour has passed. Take today, for instance – I had a modest little shopping agenda. I took a shower, got dressed and all fixed up, sat down at around 12:30 pm to put on my shoes and goodnight, nurse.

Now, in my defense, I had my customary messed up night time sleep complete with pre-dawn coffee drinking. The (kid)napping occurred about 7 hours after the last cup. And I did do laundry and whipped up a new batch of biscotti (anise) in the meantime.

Supper overload: I made stuffed peppers today at the same time that  Sami decided to take advantage of NJ’s mild weather and make kutfa an on the grill (Sami’s recipe involves mincing the parsley and using the finest side of a box grater to produce onion juice). I took the path of least resistance and went mid-eastern for tonight. That means tomorrow’supper is in the bag and I might even have time for a nap when I come back from the office. Although I might not need that after-work nap if I fall asleep sitting upright at my desk.

Don’t get me wrong – I like to take naps but I want to do it on my terms.  I do not care for naps taking me.

Here’s The Plan

I’m up way early today. I’m going to make a fried egg sandwich and see what’s on TV.

That’s as far as I got with the planning.

UPDATE -10;30 am: Nice day for a drive so I got in the car and drove to gas station. As I was sitting there putting on my makeup, as you do, the strangest thing happened. Every time I passed the puff over my right eyelid, my eye made a noise just like this:


Every time I touched the lid, it squoinked. No pain, no movement, just a squoink. I can’t stop thinking about it.

UPDATE 2 -12:30 pm: Went to brunch. Brunch! I haven’t been to brunch since Hector was a pup. I had a Bloody Mary and the fritatta al fiorno.

UPDATE 3 -5:00 pm: Question: did Billy Joel die or otherwise make the news? I’ve had the car radio on scan and every single classic rock station is playing his songs today.

UPDATE 4 -6:15 pm: Just made a killing on Old European-esque wine glasses from the Pier 1 clearance section. They’re super funky and heavy and a little bit lopsided and unintentionally fraught with air bubbles. The salesperson was trying to be my friend by making small talk while she wrapped each glass. “Oh, these are the pretty glasses for Girl’s Night. You send the husband and the kids away and these are the glasses that come out. The ladies will really appreciate how beautiful these glasses are.” I didn’t tell her that they were just for me and  I was buying four in case I knocked three over I’d still have one left for myself.

It’s possible that I may have overfilled this one  just a bit.

Did I mention that it was green glass? The better to hide the Cheese Nips fingerprints, my dear. Green and thick like an etched soda bottle, but not as uniform. Good for whites, of course not reds. I know – they’re very fey but I have plain and elegant simple clear glasses but sometimes a girl needs a little festivity at her private Girl’s Night party, no?

Anyway, they were marked down to $2.00 each so what the hell.


Dog pictures, taken 15 seconds apart.

The dog lost consciousnesses while I was trying to take his picture. Scared the hell out of me but it turns out that he was just tired and had to take an immediate nap. I’m also a little bit scared of his freakish devotion to that Crazy Critter.

The Worst Thing About Business Travel

… is being held captive at the airport boarding gate while CNN spews all over you from every direction. It’s far more entertaining to watch the regular characters without the sound. This is what I had to look at all morning yesterday. It’s either Nanny Pee or that velociraptor from Jurassic Park.

Ok. It is Nanny Pee. The dinosaur had better skin.

I love how as more and more of her eyeballs is exposed at each “procedure”, her eyebrows seem to compensate by growing farther down the side of her face.

separated at birth (of the universe)

Flying Monkey

I’m flying to Atlanta today. Do you think I’ll get tornado’d?


UPDATE:  No tornado action. Smooth flight. Arrived uneventfully and on time.

I am in the crappiest hotel on the planet. And that includes the 4 Arrowheads or whatever that disaster in Oklahoma was when I stayed there 8 years ago. It’s really more of a motel. A crappy motel. Plus, I don’t have a rental car for this trip so I’m limited in how I can soothe myself with dinner offerings. I’m stuck with a french “bistro” just off the crappy lobby. If they don’t have wine, I swear to God I am going to flip my shit. My hip hurts, I haven’t eaten all day and did I mention that I’m in one of those Stop N’ Rob kind of rooms where the my door is next to an easily accessible picture window on the ground floor and my bed is three feet from the dimly lit public walkway? If I get a bed bug here I am going to pull my hair out.


UPDATE #2:  Quel surprise! I don’t know how they landed here in this crappy motel.  But wow! White tablecloth, small candles, fresh flowers on the table. For my first course, I had rillettes de porc à la moutarde.

house made pork rillettes with dijon mustard, red onions, cornichons, baguette toasts

I know! How did I ever live without this? It was like big super-fatty cold pork meatloaf slices! Accompanied by crisp salty things. I’m pretty sure I can replicate this with Oscar Mayer baloney in a blender*. Let’s have a dinner party!

Then I had truite grenobloise  (fresh local rainbow trout, couscous pilaf, asparagus,
toasted walnuts, capers, brown butter).  Can you even believe it? I also swilled down two glasses of French Voigne. It makes the whole crappy motel room thing seem insignificant.

*My mother used to tell me that she and her two girl friends used to have WWII-era teenage parties where they would invite the same three boys and play the radio and serve minced baloney mixed with mayonnaise and chopped pickles. The three girls** married the three boys*** and they stayed married until they all died. The power of minced baloney! Even the French know it.

**Geraldine, Irene and Aldona

***Babe, Youngy and Shanky