Royal Wedding, Scored And Ranked

So many elements to sort though! Below are the clear winners of the day, based on a potential max of 100 points.

#3. The Air Fresheners –  82 points

Crown Air Fresheners

This makes perfect sense to me – all those horses around! But where did they get them? I thought they stopped making these in the 90s.  They were so popular – I wonder why?

#2 The Spurs! – 97 points

Sirs! Your spurs!

I don’t think I even have to say anything more here. AMIRITE LADIES?

#1 The Bouquet  99 points

Almost perfect.

Too bad I made such a big deal out of the Lily of the Valley issue, otherwise the spurs would have been #1 for sure. But, *le sigh*, here it is. A shame she clogged it up with sweet william and myrtle but still it lived up to my vision of bouquet perfection. Also, Pippa.

I’m Glad My Name Is Not Violet

Looks like telepathic messages to Kate Middleton got through to her. In this article about the floral decorations for the royal wedding, there are some clues that Lily of the Valley will be in her bridal bouquet, just as I hoped they would be.

a Cornwall farmer is sending 60 bunches of Duchy Lily of the Valley for their big day.

I have an affinity for these flowers because 1. they are my birth flower (month of May). 2.the meaning of my first name is Lily and 3. I’ve got these growing all over the place in my backyard. I also have wild violets in my yard but I’m glad my name is not dorky Violet.

So the name Susan and all its variations mean Lily, with the connotation of purity. I am in fact quite lilylike* but when you get right down to it,  there are little black spots on the white milk bottle of my soul as the nuns so charmingly informed me when I was 7 years old. Little black spots which will never go entirely away. Those nuns should have kept it shut because that is a gloomy future to contemplate for a little kid.

Anyway, lilies of the valley. Yay!

*pale and top-heavy with a dirty bottom. don’t tell the nuns they were right.

The Big Reveal

After the thrilling news that the American “president” has released his long form birth certificate, many people are emboldened to hope that his college transcripts and medical records will also be released. That’s fine for some people, but I have my own wish list for further information release from him. This includes but is not limited to:

hey bud - wheredja get that hat?

  • brand name of his putter
  • Swiss bank account records
  • his wife’s shoe size
  • his grandmother’s recipe for Poi Surprise
  • the name of his milliner
  • one productive thing his mother ever accomplished
  • what he did with the Nobel Prize money
  • the sleeping arrangements in the WH private quarters
  • where he’s hiding Desiree’s phone number
  • identity of the medium he uses to contact Ted Kennedy for advice
  • who beat up Kal Penn when he tried to get away

Also, I saw what he did behind the wheel of that Chevy Volt so it would be nice to know if he has a driver’s license or not. The  birth certificate was nice but to really pin down his identity, any one of these things would be a big help.

Good bye, Dear …

Phoebe Snow, Bluesy Singer-Songwriter, Dies at 60

Ms. Snow, who was nominated for best new artist at the 1975 Grammy Awards, died in Edison, N.J., from complications of a brain hemorrhage she had in January 2010 … She changed her name after seeing Phoebe Snow, an advertising character for a railroad, emblazoned on trains that passed through her hometown.

Goodbye, Phoebe. I swear to God that if I ever go to a costume party again, I’m going dressed as Phoebe Snow.

Phoebe Snow & Phoebe Snow

Al Gore Al Bore Al Snore

Here’s a recent picture of Grandpa Gore and the Missus, posing as if it was 1998 all over again.

Excitement! The Gores have come together to celebrate the ... honk shoo bebebebebe ... honk shoo bebebebebe ...

LOVE that guy leaning against the post in the background. He’s the most interesting looking one in the photo. Why didn’t they  do a story about him? Oh wait … they already did.

Like Buttah

Sunny Sunday. Those weathermen don’t know a thing about making accurate predictions.

It was sunny in Philadelphia and we spent as much time as possible on the terrace. And by terrace, I mean a 3 x 6 ft fire escape. Only 3 folding chairs could get squeezed into that space so we had to develop a schedule to rotate all  6 adults. The dog shoved himself into any available space, even places that you wouldn’t immediately recognize as a “space”.

A rare moment when two chairs were empty. The dog straddles two worlds – the outdoor air full of the scents and sounds of Philadelphia and the indoor possibility of someone dropping something on the way to the kitchen trash can.

We used a pair of opera glasses to look down on ladies in church hats and little kids dressed in Easter finery. We saw one mom leading a pack of small boys, all dressed in velour tracks suits of different colors. The mom’s was purple. The number of people walking around in black burkas increases every time we visit there

After looking on the dairy shelf for weeks and finding none, we did get a commercial butter lamb this year after all. It looked to be a combination of plain and blobby while it was still in the box but was remarkably detailed out on the plate. We enhanced it with clove eyes and gave it some parsley to graze on.

The clove eyes give this a very “Lamb Chop” look, don’t you think? The turkey salt shaker made a surprise appearance on the table.

Easter dinner was in Philadelphia at my daughter’s house. The girl is full of surprises. She colored some blown-out egg shells and stuffed them with confetti and a special Easter fortune.

I was hoping that this paper would read “You may quit your job” but it didn’t. :(

And that is the end of any fun I am going to have in the near or foreseeable future. Work is all-consuming now and I bit off more than I could chew. I woke up at 4:30 just to make sure my heart was still beating. And it was, at the rate of a mile a minute.  See you on the other side.

Ring? Got it. Hair? Still some there. Fizz? … Fizz?

I’m pretty sure that Prince William is a jerk.

This doesn’t mean that I won’t be watching the media coverage and staying up to see the ceremony live. I always  like to see a nice horse-drawn coach and  I’m very anxious to see her wedding bouquet, her jewelry and her dress. (Please please don’t let her have one of those strapless monstrosities that the industrial bridal complex keeps foisting on “the brides” as something desirable.)  I’m am hoping that she will have lilies of the valley and  I’m betting that she’ll wear Diana’s pearl choker.

Because without even reading this article, I knew that Diana would be all over this wedding. First of all, your mother’s engagement ring, Wills? Not even reset? The palace guard must have been on stand-by when he gave it to Kate so she wouldn’t clunk him in the head with it. That was his first sign of jerkness. The second sign was when the announcement came that he wouldn’t be wearing a wedding ring. Because that is the style among the young male upper class … Right!

I don’t know – he just doesn’t seem to be all that into it, does he ?There’s something about this that is just not the big romance that you think it would be. Looking back at the old news clips, his father at least had some nervous energy going on. This guy is completely lukewarm.  Could it be that he was pressured to get married due to his age? Or before ALL of his hair was gone? Kate seems perky enough but old Wills just doesn’t seem to have much fizz, does he?

Also, I was expecting way more corgi themed stuff to commemorate this wedding. Let down!