Royal Wedding, Scored And Ranked

So many elements to sort though! Below are the clear winners of the day, based on a potential max of 100 points.

#3. The Air Fresheners –  82 points

Crown Air Fresheners

This makes perfect sense to me – all those horses around! But where did they get them? I thought they stopped making these in the 90s.  They were so popular – I wonder why?

#2 The Spurs! – 97 points

Sirs! Your spurs!

I don’t think I even have to say anything more here. AMIRITE LADIES?

#1 The Bouquet  99 points

Almost perfect.

Too bad I made such a big deal out of the Lily of the Valley issue, otherwise the spurs would have been #1 for sure. But, *le sigh*, here it is. A shame she clogged it up with sweet william and myrtle but still it lived up to my vision of bouquet perfection. Also, Pippa.

I’m Glad My Name Is Not Violet

Looks like telepathic messages to Kate Middleton got through to her. In this article about the floral decorations for the royal wedding, there are some clues that Lily of the Valley will be in her bridal bouquet, just as I hoped they would be.

a Cornwall farmer is sending 60 bunches of Duchy Lily of the Valley for their big day.

I have an affinity for these flowers because 1. they are my birth flower (month of May). 2.the meaning of my first name is Lily and 3. I’ve got these growing all over the place in my backyard. I also have wild violets in my yard but I’m glad my name is not dorky Violet.

So the name Susan and all its variations mean Lily, with the connotation of purity. I am in fact quite lilylike* but when you get right down to it,  there are little black spots on the white milk bottle of my soul as the nuns so charmingly informed me when I was 7 years old. Little black spots which will never go entirely away. Those nuns should have kept it shut because that is a gloomy future to contemplate for a little kid.

Anyway, lilies of the valley. Yay!

*pale and top-heavy with a dirty bottom. don’t tell the nuns they were right.

The Big Reveal

After the thrilling news that the American “president” has released his long form birth certificate, many people are emboldened to hope that his college transcripts and medical records will also be released. That’s fine for some people, but I have my own wish list for further information release from him. This includes but is not limited to:

hey bud - wheredja get that hat?

  • brand name of his putter
  • Swiss bank account records
  • his wife’s shoe size
  • his grandmother’s recipe for Poi Surprise
  • the name of his milliner
  • one productive thing his mother ever accomplished
  • what he did with the Nobel Prize money
  • the sleeping arrangements in the WH private quarters
  • where he’s hiding Desiree’s phone number
  • identity of the medium he uses to contact Ted Kennedy for advice
  • who beat up Kal Penn when he tried to get away

Also, I saw what he did behind the wheel of that Chevy Volt so it would be nice to know if he has a driver’s license or not. The  birth certificate was nice but to really pin down his identity, any one of these things would be a big help.

Good bye, Dear …

Phoebe Snow, Bluesy Singer-Songwriter, Dies at 60

Ms. Snow, who was nominated for best new artist at the 1975 Grammy Awards, died in Edison, N.J., from complications of a brain hemorrhage she had in January 2010 … She changed her name after seeing Phoebe Snow, an advertising character for a railroad, emblazoned on trains that passed through her hometown.

Goodbye, Phoebe. I swear to God that if I ever go to a costume party again, I’m going dressed as Phoebe Snow.

Phoebe Snow & Phoebe Snow

Al Gore Al Bore Al Snore

Here’s a recent picture of Grandpa Gore and the Missus, posing as if it was 1998 all over again.

Excitement! The Gores have come together to celebrate the ... honk shoo bebebebebe ... honk shoo bebebebebe ...

LOVE that guy leaning against the post in the background. He’s the most interesting looking one in the photo. Why didn’t they  do a story about him? Oh wait … they already did.