I was looking around for a moisturizing facial cleanser today and I thought I’d look into Albolene. This stuff has such a cult following, there must be something to it. How could such a simple and unassuming product remain on the market when so many new and sophisticated products have come along since Albolene was came around in 1957. Guess what? Apparently, the boxing industry has been keeping it alive.
Everyone wants to lose a few pounds, but those first few or last few pounds (and stubborn inches that come with them) can be a real nuisance. Trouble areas include the thighs, buttocks and tummies, and are often an issue for both women and men. Well, there's a secret that's been used in the boxing industry for decades that can help these trouble spots. For those who need to lose the last five pounds, or to help motivate those who want to lose the first five, Albolene Makeup Remover, applied to the skin before a workout, can help increase perspiration to help minimize these trouble spots. So, take the Albolene challenge to help zip up a favorite pairs of jeans or SLIP MORE COMFORTABLE INTO THAT BODY-HUGGING DRESS ...in just a week!
So …the off-label use of this product is spot weight loss? This suddenly explains a lot:
leg grease!
According to my research, Albolene liquefies when it hits your skin. Commenters/reviewers all over the internet say that “it opens your pores so the product resurfaces in about 15 minutes and that mineral-oil sheen comes back due to the pore opening.” (Editor’s note – Hmmm. Now as a medical professional who knows a little bit about anatomy and physiology, I’m not exactly sure I follow that explanation. I will say that Albolene has a huge underground following for more than one off-label use but I am NOT going there.)
So maybe this is why MOO’s legs are so shiny all the time. According the very bizarre Albolene Challenge “Albolene acts as a blanket on the skin, causing heat to be trapped, allowing you to sweat more and burn inches quickly in trouble areas. For quicker results, apply Albolene and then cover the area with a sweat-producing slimming belt or shorts.“
Is that an enormous rump in your dress or are you just burning inches quickly in your problem area?
That might explain all those weirdly odd ballooning skirts – could she be wrapping over her Albolene trying til the last second to burn inches in her problem area? I’ll leave that belt thing alone. Too easy.
MOO's one-two punch; America's challenge
Suzette…applause on your research and doing the ‘heavy (or at least greasy) lifting’ for us all. Who knew the Leg Buttah (my unresearched moniker) was yet another ‘off’ use for Albolene. I just worry about the beautiful, historic chairs and fabrics that have been stained for ‘Fashion Iconness.’ The Smithsonian will be in full ‘off lable’ use of Dawn when Me!Chelle moves out.
How much would I need to use to lose 20 pounds? Is there a “sweat-producing slimming” bunny suit I can use to trap the heat on my entire body? Maybe a skin diving suit? Why isn’t this product working on MOO’s body? She certainly has many “slimming belts.” Would she have to give up ice-cream and fast food?
So many questions. So little desire to have greasy legs. Or see them. Can these people be stopped?
Cripes, Suzette, you are really ON FIRE of late! What are you doing? Is it the diet cabbage soup?
Eeeew… er, I mean, Wow! That’s great!
I never would have known.
Thanks for doing the heavy researching, Ma’am. Now, where did I put that saran wrap…
Here is Albolene’s own list of its many uses:
http://www.albolenecleanser.com/Pages/Albolene_WaystoUse
And here are two that will interest you:
Gleaming Gams: Don’t you just love the way that celebrities’ legs look at events, even when they aren’t wearing stockings? For gleaming gams, rub Albolene along your legs and dust with some highlighting powder to make them look sleek and sophisticated. Women with darker-toned skin can combine some sheer bronzer with Albolene for a warm, sexy look.
Intensify Cleavage: Rub Albolene along the tops of your breasts and collarbones. Dust with highlighter for a twinkling effect when wearing a strapless top or dress.
Ring any bells?
I really think this is the answer. Albolene.
Tut tut. just ran out and bought the industrial size tub. I know when I use up all the Albolene it will be great for cooling the beer at outdoor parties
You just got linked by my fav legal commenter, Prof Bill Jacobson at Legal Insurrection.
That stuff wouldn’t work in Arizona, our humidity is way too low and the stuff would just clog up our pores.
IMO..bare legs and toes are not the best look for anything but shorts and swimsuits.
If you’re wearing a business suit, put on some hose.
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