Michelle Obama: Elementary School Failure, Affirmative Action Success


1. Her hand”writing”.

Hand writing analysis:" A normal baseline should be slightly wavy. A person with a straight baseline is tense and over disciplined. A very wavy baseline signals a person who is on an emotional roller coaster." What a pair, eh?

Either they gave her the April Fool’s pen to write with, or she’s a mess of corrections and poor penmanship. (FYI – there’s no such thing as the April Fool’s pen.) Or maybe someone tense and disciplined wrote over what she put down.

2. Gonna/gotta.

“I go to bed early. I can’t stay awake for the returns… I gotta get up, work out. I figured…it was gonna be whatever it was gonna be the next day. So I did, I did go to sleep,” she said with a laugh.

She would never have made it past my second grade teacher. And that was in a very small school system in an impoverished coal mining town.

3. Hopefully, other Princeton/Harvard lawyers/hospital administrators use better grammar than she does.


Jesus, lady – take one of your assistants off of wighat detail and let them correct your speaking notes before you get hold of them. Of course, that didn’t help much with the Gandhi message, now did it?

The Short List


Things I was thankful for on Thursday:

  • junk shops like Christmas Tree Shops that sell $2.99  vinyl tablecloths
  • Chinet

  • the Giants, reverently displayed
  • beautiful fluffy snowflakes that fell for half an hour and then made themselves disappear
  • no traffic at all coming or going on the turnpike or in Philadelphia itself
  • the butter turkey

    Royal Wedding Fever


    Who among us doesn’t like a good royal wedding? I’m just as much a fan of a royal wedding as the next guy.  In fact, I’ve been thinking about the royal wedding a lot lately:

    Answer: One’s dead and one’s almost dead. That was bad. Sorry.

    The royal wedding has inspired more wedding memorabilia than you can imagine. You think you can imagine, but you can’t imagine.

    “Aside from beautiful designs, the floss in our kits is wound onto the bobbin and the bobbin is stamped with the corresponding DMC color number.”

    I kind of want this. A lot. Even though it’s ridiculous. But that has never stopped me before. Bobbins, people, bobbins. Ask me how many unfinished/unopened counted cross stick kits I already have. No. Don’t ask me.

    Paper dolls of Prince Charles and Princess Diana, along with replicas of their outfits for various official or informal occasions. Two dolls and 28 authentic costumes. For Charles: kilt, tuxedo, Navy dress uniform. For Diana: going away suit, floral crepe-de-Chine, hand-painted chiffon evening dress, spectacular wedding gown.

    I was never a fan of Diana’s dress. It was a wrinkly, unflattering mess at first glimpse and history hasn’t improved it at all. But a paper doll version? I say yes.

    WHITE WITH DELFT BLUE DETAILING STONEWARE. PICTURE ON SIDES. “FAMILY CRESTS”

    There are royal wedding marriage mugs aplenty all over eBay but hardly any fit my criteria. Most are shiny dark blue and as you know, I cannot drink form a dark cup. White interiors only, please. The next most frequent offering have gold trim which renders them ineligible for the dishwasher. Almost all cups and mugs have a picture of Diana’s floppy commoner hairdo and that is a big no. This one fills my bill except for the insane price tag.

    Hyperventilation alert! Time to get off eBay, Suzette.

    O.M.G. Carlton Walking Ware. Do you know that at one time, I had a CWW teapot, sugar bowl, creamer and two cups? And they all had different sock patterns and shoe colors? And the sugar bowl sat on the end of a shelf with its legs crossed properly at the knee? Where is that stuff now? Probably long gone off to the Amvets rummage sale. I wish I had it back. Maybe it’s in a box in the basement? Lookatthisonehowcuteacurtsey…

    Ok. I started this post to mock royal wedding memorabilia on eBay but I think it’s pretty obvious that I have become bewitched by my own past once again and found things that I think I positively need to buy.

    Post over. I am stepping away from the computer for a while.

    Hello Again 1970s


    Too busy to blog! Intense preparations underway to invade Philadelphia for Thanksgiving armed with as many appetizers, side dishes and desserts as we can fit into a small car along with a reluctant dog and his crate.

    This is the trinity that sits waiting for the 70s to come back again. Or for Thursday. Whichever comes first.

    Jello bowl, vintage ice bucket, swoopy ashtray

    1. My Jello brings all the guests to the yard. Take one family Jello bowl from Odd Lot, 5 packages of sugar free orange Jello, 2 cans of Mandarin range slices and ici voila! – you have an irresistible dessert that all take part of, whether they are Jello fans or not.

    2. Actual vintage ice bucket from the Disco era. Even back then, this was a rarely seen object. I used to have a knightly table lighter that I kept right next to it, all armored and heraldic, and I sort of expected it to be inside the ice bucket when I took the lid off. It wasn’t and I don’t have a second guess. If I did, I would say that some lucky someone in coal miner country got lucky at an Amvets rummage sale.

    3. Swoopy ashtray. Just to show the swoopiness. That’s not going anywhere.

    Can you tell that Sami has been digging in the basement kitchenware archive? The kitchen is now repository for several pieces of vintage Corningware that I haven’t seen in years, soon to be used to hold cheesy spinach dip and Brussels sprouts in creamy horseradish sauce.

    Also, you’ll note that in the corner is a dog bed covered with a vintage Cabbage Patch Doll bedsheet. Technically, that’s from the the 80s. The dog just doesn’t sleep well without it so we’re taking it along.