Yeah. You Tell Me What This Is Made Out Of.

Hint: you can clean it with Mop & Glow.

The Oval Office Gets  A Makeover.

I guess that’s one way to boost the ratings for the state of the … what is it tonight?

UPDATE: Right out of the gate, America was informed that the new custom carpet has inspirational quotations woven along the edge.  Things like “From each according to his ability; to each according to his need.”  Sayings like that. However, it took a full 24 hours for information to come to light that additional quotations by influential members of Obama’s core team have also been placed in less obvious areas of the rug.

  • “I am so outta here.” Rahm Emanuel
  • “It depends on what the meaning of the word ‘is’ is.” Bill Clinton
  • “We’re gonna need a bigger boat.” David Axelrod
  • “There is  no controlling moral authority.” Albert Gore Jr
  • “Get down. Boogie oogie oogie.” Marian Robinson
  • “Payback will be a  bitch.” Desiree Rogers

World’s Tallest Senior Citizen

An elated Michelle Obama is struck by inspiration for her next fashion forward belt and spotaneously shares her joy with a 7 foot tall gentleman.

Exhibit A Can I ask you how is it that we never see any film footage of the president tripping over his own feet and landing on his ass?  There’s gotta be some, right? I mean, look at that medial rotation of his left hip!  We see him pigeon-toed and knock-kneed in most photographs but this is really remarkable. Hey, those head scars had to come from something.

Exhibit B If you  enlarge this picture, you will see a nice big  deodorant lump in the armpit of World Famous Fashion Icon and Busy Mom™ Michelle Obama.

Neither An Endorsement Nor An Admission

Fact #1 – If you have insomnia, sooner or later you are going to end up looking at rebroadcasts of MTv’s Jersey Shore, even if you never thought you’d lay eyes on it in your lifetime.

Fact #2 – There’s nobody – nobody – who doesn’t enjoy a good adulteration of The Family Circus.

Fact #3 At last, Jersey Shore and Family Circus come together.

Jersey Circus