I Would Have, Without Pictures

I would have posted a crappy cell phone picture that I took while driving except that I don’t leave my home anymore. I would have taken a  picture of what I ate for lunch except that I already ate it for breakfast. I would have shown you the obituary picture of my dead cousin except…

Because Looking It Up Would Be Too Easy

I keep thinking that I’m not as engaged with diatomaceous earth as I used to be, but I can’t remember if it’s a healthful and nutritious food choice,  an ingredient in the garden fertilizer I use or if it’s what makes my facial mask work so well.

The Wedding of the Century

Here at Cripes Suzette, we totally approve of bride-to-be Chelsea Clinton’s choice of headpiece for her gluten-free, vegan wedding. Thank goodness she came up with this idea – we just couldn’t imagine HOW she was going to get around the fact that her old face was growing back. Now if only Hillary would cover her…

Mad Men Watching Party

Q: Guess who came to the Mad Men watching party last night? A: Joan and Don. Q: Was any other Mad Men character at the party? A: Yes. Carla was there, too. Q: Guess what we had? A: Cigarettes. Q: Who is the best character on Mad Men of all time? A: PAULINE.

Exciting Personal Update

It’s not that I don’t have anything going on in my life. It’s just that I wanted to share this landmark event with you: buh bye We emptied out another jar of Classico Pasta Sauce today and so I was able to add the empty container to  my collection of drinking jars. I’m particularly pleased…

Detour: Pub-liss-ity

In 1958, Lana Turner’s star was not what it once was. She was sensitive to the fact that other fading stars had become fodder for the gossip mills by appearing in public escorted by younger men. She was careful never to be seen with any man younger than she was, let alone become romantically linked.…

I Have Never Made A Pickle Fan

… and I guess I never will. Look at this. The smooth creaminess of the cream cheese that contrasts with the sharp crunch of the pickle. The sweetness of the gherkin vs. the tang of the horseradish. A base that is soft yielding bread on one side and golden toast on the other. If ever…