MOO On Vacation

This post updates the May 10, 2010 entry. Didn’t I  TELL you?

Michelle Obama is on vacation this weekend. For that reason, we’re not using her customary title of World Famous Fashion Icon and Busy Mom™ – for now, she’s just plain old off-duty  Great Hulking Behemoth First Lady Michelle Obama. Even her Busy Mom part is on vacation – Granny/Nanny came along to take care of all that.

MOO has defaulted to her vacation hairstyle – it’s pulled back into a little knob. Let me remind you that I have previously informed you that those formal dinner party curls were clipped on and also where they came from.

knothead

I guess she doesn’t need them anymore and they have been returned to their rightful owner. The evidence speaks for itself. See below:

You'd think PETA would have something to say about all this. I'm just the messenger.

I Want

They asked me what I wanted for my birthday and I couldn’t really tell them because I want everything and nothing. (Hello. I’m a Gemini. Have we met?)  But now, one day late, I have an answer:

All I really want is for the old, worn out, stained  dish towels to stay on the rag pile and not make their way back into the kitchen drawer.

Can I get an amen?

…………………………………………………………………

UPDATE: Solution provided by my new Life Coach.

So simple, so perfect.

In A Suburban Kitchen on Devil’s Tower

Cooking With Suzette

Chapter1 – How to Entertain Yourself  While Trapped In the Kitchen

What a shame I had to give up my over-the-stove microwave because these old cabinets are just not proportioned to handle a thing like that. The choice was letting Sami chop up the cupboards to fit ( that was his enthusiastic suggestion – what could possibly go wrong? )  or going back to the customary range hood.

I’m so glad that we went with the range hood because of the entertainment factor alone. The underside of the hood has two 2 halogen spotlights that remind me of the spaceship landing  in Close Encounters of the Third  Kind.

Maybe I’ll cook up a big load of mashed potatoes and serve them in the shape of a national monument in Wyoming

The other reason I’m glad to have a metal range hood again is that you can use a magnet to hang up recipe print-outs right over the area where you’re working. Of course, my last stove was electric and had cast-iron plates as a cooking surface. This new gas stove might be a game changer as far as hanging paper over the stove goes, especially those fearsome POWER BURNERS.

I guess that big one in the middle is to boil up a galvanized laundry tub. I don’t plan on engaging with anything that is suitable for that much burner.

Did I mention that I always send Sami off on his own to buy appliances? The only direction I give him is to buy something white. That kind of explains things, doesn’t it?

UPDATE: The three of us that live in this house have all cooked something on this stove top now, but only on that front left burner. As our old stove gave it up one  part at a time, we were down to only one functioning burner when the decline seemed to stop. We got used to dealing with only that one burner and we can’t untrain ourselves just like that. This is going to take some getting used to. No one has the nerve to use the oven yet.

Day 146

eggs in a mug
susskins
pancakes in a mug
50 cent’s shocking slim down

UPDATE: the Pancakes in a Mug totally worked.  We found this recipe on the internet in a Vegan/U.K. version and altered it to be a Creature Eatin’/American thing.

Here’s a fab vegan recipe that even the most worst cook can manage – you don’t really need to do any measuring and you only need a microwave!

Ingredients:

  • 1 cup  flour (we used cake flour)
  • 2 teaspoons baking powder ( we used only one spoon because yikes!)
  • Pinch of salt
  • 1 teaspoon of egg replacer, mixed with water as directed ( 1 egg. duh)
  • 1/2 mug of soya or rice milk (actual milk)
  • 2 tablespoons vegetable oil
  • 2 teaspoons of sugar
  • 1 teaspoon of cinnamon

Mix all together in a bowl then pour into a mug or small bowl and microwave for about 1-2 minutes. You can have the traditional lemon & sugar on it or serve with something really yummy like vegan ice-cream! (Not)

The Real Felons of New Jersey

An open letter to BravoTV:

You know I love all of the Real Housewives shows, but I’ve about had it with what you’re doing to the New Jersey franchise. There’s plenty of fascination around the currently featured bunch  – with one big exception. Wasn’t it bad enough that we had to put up with the skanky, low life prostitution whore Danielle? Now she’s gone and gotten her ex-con, mobbed up “friend” a turn in front of the cameras.

I can see how this guy is Danielle’s friend- they’ve got a lot in common. He’s stringy, looks like he had a hard life,  can barely string a sentence together and did hard time for racketeering. I’m guessing he was probably a male  prostitution whore in prison, too.

This is not why I watch Real Housewives. If you can’t think of anything else to do with this bunch of Italian-American women except run a mafia storyline, let me suggest that you find some other Jersey girls who are living large. How about these 2 for starters:

  • Mrs. Max of Max’s Famous Hot Dogs fame.  Late blooming love, winters at the Florida racetracks, crabbiest face of a local business you ever came across. She straightened out the NY Times about that whole  Queen of Hot Dogs business.
  • Barbara “Basia”Piasecka Johnson. A Polish immigrant, she was the maid, goomah and finally the abusive wife  of J Seward Johnson. (Johnson & Johnson – look it up.) Let’s just say she had a temper. Let’s just say the battle over his will between Basia and his heirs was one for the books. She made an impressive art collection even more magnificent and used her personal money to bail out the Polish shipyards. She also gave the Johnson estate a Polish name and then turned the whole thing  into a country club.

You know, Robin Givens and Mike Tyson lived in New Jersey when they were married. She’d bring an interesting storyline to the show, wouldn’t she?  Then let’s throw in Queen Latifah  for some show biz flash. Christie Todd Whitman could give everyone a Scottie dog and then the ladies could hop on over to Newark for a psychic reading from Dionne Warwick.

Now THAT’S a show worth watching.