Earth Hour: Aberdeen NJ


Drank martinis and watched Lawrence of Arabia via  DVR …. so, lit up two ways. That canceled out at least one of the Global Warming herdbots. Maybe two. Hip hip hooray.

I propose that we keep this kind of display of solidarity of good intentions going by proclaiming that next week, Compost Hour will be celebrated. The people all over the world, at 8:30 pm local time, can shit in their hats and pull them down over their ears.

According to a Food Scientist: Lemons and LImes


According to a food scientist, lemons and limes are the same thing. In fact, in South America, the color of the thing is a mixture of green and yellow and is know as a limon. In Egypt, if you ask for a lemoon, they mean the green one but if you show up with a yellow one, that's ok, too.

So why are there green ones and yellow ones? Do both exist only in the USA?  Is it to satisfy the American market for oddity?

Asses In The White House


This is the difference between Republicans and Democrats: Republicans want leaders who inspire them to be better, to work towards moral and behavioral ideals and who are constant reminders of what’s good about America. Democrats want leaders who tell them it’s okay to fall short, to celebrate character flaws as if they were desirable personal goals and who are constant reminders of personal and societal dysfunction.

And ye shall know them by the public images they choose to display:

Michelle vogue 2009

This one image alone should put a dead stop to any comparison between World-Famous Fashion Icon and Busy Mom Michelle Obama™ and Jackie Kennedy. Here is your first lady posing for Vogue magazine during the time she spent at the Hay-Adams hotel in Washington DC before the inaguration.  Can you imagine Jackie sprawled out ass end up, hair tucked behind her shoulder, looking more like a clothed Playboy pictorial than a fashion spread?

Obama-beer

Here is the leader of the free world setting an example for youngsters by sucking down suds while sitting shoulder to shoulder with small children at a basketball game in February. He’s America’s Coolest President Ever! How does this guy spend so much time out and about the town? What do first daughters Malaria and Sashay do while their parents choose to spend their free evenings out and about in DC?

52% of American voters asked for it, but 100% of Americans have to suffer from it. When you say Obama, you’ve said it all.

Plan Your Summertime Imbibing Now


DSC_0476

Devoted fans of Schweppes Bitter Lemon will be overjoyed to hear that the product is once again available in the U.S. It's been mysteriously absent for many years, but my sources tell me that it is now readily available on the shelves of high-end supermarkets and liquor stores in Houston TX.

No New Jersey sightings as yet. (FYI – Canada Dry Bitter Lemon is no substitute.)

There Are Three Kinds of People In the World


1.  People who shower and then apply deodorant before getting dressed. These people would rather die than do it any other way. Count me among this group.

2. People who shower, get dressed and then contort themselves so that they can reach inside and blindly apply deodorant.

3. People who are in a rush to get somewhere and skip over the soap and water stage and then they reach inside their clothing to apply a fresh layer of deodorant right on top of the existing stank.

G Mail Expands Emoticon Selection


In general, I am opposed to emoticons and feel that they are killers of the written word, such as it is in modern times. However, there are certain times that I would like to use one particular one.  During IM sessions, I would like to express nausea and/or emesis in response to a message that someone has just sent to me. Is that asking too much?

Compose_emoji2 

Although the G mail developers saw fit to make available a pile of crap complete with buzzing flies, they overlooked the barf thing. In the past, I have resorted to making my own, but unless you know what it is, you might not recognize my intent.  :0=

I am pleased to note that they have included the interrobang. In times like these,  there is a huge increase in occasions where the interrobang is the only fitting punctuation, followed closely by barfing.