Our Toenails Ourselves

I'm looking  at my toenails today and I hardly recognize them.

First of all, I took off the Misty Mauve polish that I had been applying and reapplying all summer long. I'm seeing them as God intended them to be for the first time in months. They are remarkably long. Doesn't it seem that I just Dremmeled them down to uniformity not so long ago? Toenails are known to grow at a much slower pace than fingernails. I seem to be losing control of the process. If it was ever mine to control in the first place.

You think you know your body and then something like this can still take you by surprise. Overall, this is very unsettling.

Terrifying Power With Its Shiny Appearance

The Real Housewives of Orange County -Season 4 premiered this week. I was too busy on Wednesday night to catch the first broadcast – it's Bravo, after all and they re-run every episode of every show round the clock for a week so I'm not too worried. I'll catch it sooner or later.

Yes, you had your RWO Atlanta – which didn't interest me enough to watch any part of any episode – and your RHWO NewYork City – which was so good I still rerun parts of it in my head before I go to sleep. But this one is the first and the best. As they say on the blogs, one cannot look away.

Now I won't go on about the main players or what I think of them (at least not for now) but I do have some pieces of information to impart:

1. The newest housewife is a 30 year-old cookie-cutter blonde with a 53 year old boyfriend.  He's been married 5 times and he has leukemia. Teaser video clips on the bravo website show them shopping for a 4.5 carat diamond ring. Apparently, their relationship is going to be a main focus of this season, but guess what? He's already dead.

2. The RH's had a make-under, courtesy of that new millenium busybody, Oprah. The point – now get this: the point was to make them look like RHWO New York City. Or, as the O website puts it: "transformed from their homogeneous perfection to a metropolitan, slightly eccentric, chic." Wouldn't you like to see that?

3. I was looking around to see if anyone had already blogged the high points of this season opener and I came across this intriguing if somewhat jumbled recap:

"This season, Tabanan Here, VICKO Gunvalson, Jean Keough and Laura Peterson joined 30 years, Gretchen Rossi. Although it seems that the terrifying power with its shiny appearance, and other women to maintain balanced position and balance daily.

Second, more should be solved problems and housewives in order to continue juggling the way to success. How they came to consensus on its last, a woman must feel great to overcome slow to defend its reputation. Wiki is faced with difficulties in family Don, because it is focused on the creation of insurance empire.

Who lives in a housemother, Tabanan, was still trying to connect him – from his father, strangers he requested 21 years old son Ryan. In the meantime, Jean cope with the emotional separation from her husband, Matt, a picture of what to do next.

Laura, on the other hand, he tries to live blissful, magical life. However, problems with their son, Jos, could prevent him from dreams."

 As fascinating an introduction to the OC ladies as this is, this might not be the most reliable reviewer on the Internets. The author has a piece up on Rham Emanuel that states in part  

"We all know about the humble and great man named as Rahm Emanuel. He is the man who congrates the Barak Obama at the hstorical victory of him in the election against McCain's Republican party. And ya he is the in the Democratic Party."

Although ya indeed he is in the Democratic Party, even his own mother would never refer to him as humble.

Why Would You Even Want To Throw A Sheep At Somebody?

Dear People Who Add Me To Your Facebook Pages,

I do have a Facebook page, I just don't know what to do with it. In fact, I have two Facebook pages – one under my real name and one under a former internet alias. What is the appeal of it? I just don't get why a person would want to throw a sheep at somebody. What am I missing? There must be something more to it that I'm just not seeing. Can you explain it to me please?

Fondly, Suzette

Surprise! I Got You A Flea!

It suddenly occurs to me that although I am throwing money around  as if it were on fire in my hands, it's not very likely that it's going to be recognized as part of the Christmas economy statistics. Are opera tickets and plane fare included in those numbers? What about flea markets?

As in every other area of my life, I'm slightly out of step with the herd. Don't worry Real Life People – you'll be getting presents this year but they won't be from Macy's. I don't see why I'm expected to go out and buy an electric sweater shaver (although I myself would dearly love to have a sweater shaver one of those big ones battery operated and with a built-in fuzzball collection bin) just to make the economists happy.

So I'm just telling you now that when you hear the gloomy news about how the recession has hurt Christmas sales, please add in my expenditures and realize that I am doing my part to spread, as they say in the District of Columbia, the wealth around.