Monthly Archives: June 2008

One Sunny Day in New Hampshire

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Oh, she’s back – she’s back! We missed ya, Hillz. And OMG they’ve got matching outfits! They’re ready for a couples competition in ballroom dance or a Sonny & Cher road show. Everybody sing:


[HIM:] They say I’m young – my ears are big.
At least I’m not a blue pant-suited pig.
[HER:] I think I know how you stay thin.
Did you get here by riding on a Schwinn?


Bar.


Maybe the Foxes, Mink, Great-horned Owls, Herons and Hawks Will Be Able to Resist the Squeaky Rubber Hamburgers and Get Down to Business

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I could have told you that muskrats are the enemy of mankind. Just ask my former flowerbed . What used to be a glorious 24 foot stretch of Black-eyed Susans is now just a memory. In it’s place is dirt, weeds and a giant sedum that must not taste good.

The muskrats come up from the creek and eat whatever they please in my backyard. What pleases them most this year is Black-eyed Susans. They ate every single one of them down to the roots and when the flowers tried to sprout up again, the muskrats came back and chewed them down to the ground. I left the bed hoping that the muskrats would move on and the flowers would come back. Didn’t happen.

Well now I see that the muskrats are responsible for the collapse of the levees along the Mississippi. I didn’t need to read the whole story to know what happened.

Is that a rubber hamburger Our old dog used to do a pretty good job of keeping the backyard free from the tresspass of muskrats as well as cats, squirrels, rabbitts, birds, chipmunks and blowing  leaves. Now the new dog is busy with his rubber hamburger and the small wildlife has taken over. He already had a dozen meals since he got here and I’m not feeding him without expecting something in return. The internets say that muskrats natural enemies are foxes, mink, great horned-owls, herons and hawks. I haven’t seen any of those around here but I’m not sure that even they could resist the siren call of a good squeak toy.

NOW You Tell Me

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This is the kind of demotivator I don’t need to see during the early stages of my Somersizing:


Cheek Fat Makes You More Appealing.


“Cheeks are vital to what we consider beautiful – from chubby-cheeked infants to Hollywood stars like Angelina Jolie“  ( and blogging personalities like Suzette).

” said study co-author Joel Pessa of University of Texas Southwestern Medical Center. “This research breaks new ground

A Blog Post That Does Not Contain The Words Dog, Puppy or Corgi

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I forgot that the best thing about Somersizing is the fruit smoothies in the mornings.

This was the food plan that was most successful for me in the past and I thought I'd give it another whirl. The thought occurred to me right after my Thursday Night Martini Club partner told me she was going Full Atkins to get ready for her annual vacation with her extended family and wanted The Club to go on hiatus until she returned. So …  join 'em, ya know?

The Somersize plan is easy to live with.Basically, it's a low-carb plan but allows fruits and most starches in restricted situations but not restricted amounts. Similar to my relationship with any firm set of rules (shout-out  to the Vatican!), I make my own exceptions: I do have a single cup of coffee with milk in the morning – otherwise I cannot live - and I do not exclude the possibility of some gin getting in once in a while.

Today I whirred up the morning brew from some watermelon, a nectarine and about 25 ice cubes. In about an hour, I'm going to have some steel cut oats. I am very interesting. Don't you agree?

Someone has been licking my foot the entire time that I've been composing this post but I'm not going to say who it is.