Dress Boutique: This Sh*t Is Bananas

The route to my work no longer takes me past the Dress Boutique, save for a few rare days a year. In order to feed the howling beast that demands hot Dress Boutique action, we must find our fashion inspiration where we can. This week’s place is that bastion of wholesome expression: The Minnesota State Fair. Behold the Sock Monkey Dress as displayed at this year’s fair.

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Do you know why women began wearing red lipstick? and not, say, green or blue tones? Because red lips simulate a flushed, sexually stimulated vagina. It’s a theory, but that’s what they say. If that’s true, then what, my dear reader, is one to make of the Sock Monkey Dress?

The word that first comes to mind is primitive. (Har har!) No, seriously, not primate-tive,  primitive. (And evolution – Survival of the Cheerleaderest. If you think of this getup as a device of allurement, cave-woman style, then one cannot fail to note that the blue eyed monkeys then as now get the most attention.)

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And beyond that, what is one to make of this flashing billboard of fertility realized and womanhood otherwise occupied? Am I missing the point or is the message is clearly "Aim here. I don’t need anymore babies right now." Perhaps not – maybe its just a nod to the Sir Mix-A-Lot crowd, who like big butts and cannot lie, but thinking like that will lead to its natural conclusion and then you’ll have a six-pack hanging off your back instead of that two-for-one special going on right now.

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Or this – talked about your mixed message. [front] Look at my boobs! [back] Not for you! [front] Look at my boobs! [back] Not for you! [front] Look at my boobs! [back] Not for you! [front] Look at my boobs! LOOK AT MY BOOBS! LOOK AT MY BOOBS!

The background fabric of the dress is the low-key, mousy brown flecked knit of the classic red-heeled sock, which mimics the drab couture that is the fate of the female in all species that don’t have access to peroxide, eyeshadow and nailpolish. Its usually the male that makes a big fashion display to attract females who may or may not be interested, but when the lady gets in the mood and dons this traffic-stopper, is there a man among us who can fail to get the point?

I am Sock Monkey Dress. Hear me roar.

Sock Monkey Dress by Minneapolis designer Rebecca Yakker

Flickr photos courtesy of various Minnessota State Fair goers with cameras

All images are thumbnails. Click to enlarge.

How To Make A Sock Monkey